First AESH meeting: 5 things to prepare as a parent
First meeting with the AESH (a teaching assistant for students with disabilities, in France): what to prepare to save time, avoid misunderstandings and get support that is truly tailored to your child.
In brief
The first meeting with the AESH (support assistant for pupils with disabilities) is a short exchange between the parents, the AESH and often the teacher, to set the framework for human support in class. This exchange sets the tone for the whole year. This article offers five concrete points to prepare before that meeting, to save time, avoid misunderstandings and obtain support that is truly tailored to your child.
Why this first appointment matters more than the next ones
The AESH will spend several hours a week with your child. This first exchange defines what they will watch as a priority, what they will dare to suggest, and how they will talk to you afterwards. If the meeting is too rushed or too tense, the support risks staying generic for months.
The goal is not to say everything in 30 minutes, but to lay a solid base:
- your child's personality in two sentences;
- the three recurring difficult moments in class;
- the responses that already work at home.
This base lets the AESH make micro-decisions without having to call you every week.
The documents to bring, and those to leave out
To bring:
- an A4 sheet summarising how your child functions in class (not a medical file);
- the PPS (personalised schooling plan) or PAP (personalised support plan) adjustments already notified, in short form;
- a recent photo, simply to put a face to the name.
To leave aside: the full medical reports, the prescriptions, the neuropsychological assessments. The AESH has neither the mandate nor the time to read these documents. Above all, they risk fixing their view on the label and hiding what already works day to day.
The question to ask the AESH from the start
Rather than arriving with a list of instructions, ask the AESH this simple question: "What do you think you'll need to watch out for to get off to a good start?". In return, you will get their own bearings, their worries, their grey areas.
From there, you add without contradicting. This is more effective than a top-down briefing, and it keeps the meeting from turning into a lecture on disability.
This stance turns the meeting into a professional exchange, not a request for a favour.
Preparing your child for this meeting too
Your child is preparing for this meeting too. Before the day, explain calmly to them:
- who the AESH is: an adult from the school who will be there to help, not to supervise;
- what they can ask for without being afraid (to have something repeated, to take a break, to take out a fidget object);
- what does not change: the teacher is still the teacher, the AESH is not a substitute.
To avoid repeating this same information to every new adult who will come into contact with your child at school (substitute teacher, lunchtime supervisor, sports instructor), some parents use a myHandiQR profile: a single QR code that leads to a profile the AESH or the teacher can view in a few seconds, with an explanation tailored to their role. You can create one here: create a myHandiQR profile.
Keeping in touch over time without overwhelming the AESH
Follow-up matters more than the initial meeting. Plan two short check-ins during the year:
- End of October: 10 minutes to confirm what is working and adjust what is not.
- Mid-year: a second check-in to anticipate the home stretch.
Between two exchanges, a note in the home-school diary is enough to flag a difficulty or a bit of progress. Do not wait for the educational team meeting to raise a concrete point, but do not flood the AESH with daily messages either.
What an effective AESH is looking for is a parent who is available and factual, not a parent who keeps watch. This stance frees human support from the fear of doing wrong, and does a great deal for the quality of support over the year.
Key takeaways
- Prepare an A4 sheet centred on how your child functions in class, not a complete medical file.
- Bring a photo and the PPS or the PAP in short form; leave assessments and prescriptions at home.
- Open the meeting with a question to the AESH rather than with a list of instructions.
- Prepare your child too for the meeting: who the AESH is, what they can ask for, what does not change.
- Plan two follow-up check-ins during the year and use the home-school diary in between.
Living with a disability: the context set, the conversation freed up.
You write the essentials once. The teacher, the AESH, the manager, the first responder scan and understand. You stop repeating yourself.